


Not Quite a Dark and Stormy Night

by HASA_Archivist



Category: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Humor, Multi-Age
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-13
Updated: 2004-04-08
Packaged: 2018-03-22 15:50:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3734567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HASA_Archivist/pseuds/HASA_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For the "It was a dark and stormy night" challenge. Read if you are brave enough to handle the badfic-ness of it!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Brain Bleach is Needed!

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the HASA Transition Team: This story was originally archived at [HASA](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Henneth_Ann%C3%BBn_Story_Archive), which closed in February 2015. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in February 2015. We posted announcements about the move, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this author, please contact The HASA Transition Team using the e-mail address on the [HASA collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/hasa/profile).

Legolas and his One True Love (TM), Losserisilanariel MarySue, were making love in a moonlit hotspring that appeared out of nowhere. Somewhere far above them, Tilion and Eärendil were crying "Bleach!!! We need brain bleach!!!"


	2. The True Fall of Morgoth Bauglir

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For the "It was a dark and stormy night" challenge. Read if you are brave enough to handle the badfic-ness of it!

The corrupted Vala looked up at Ungoliant angrilly. "The Silmarils are MINE! I stole them from Fëanor, not you! You got the light of the Trees! Why are you complaining?!" he exclaimed in fury.

"Give them to me or I shall eat you!" Ungoliant hissed.

"Never!"

"Have it your way then!"

The unlight spider queen spun her web of darkness about Morgoth. He wasn't going to stand for this. The Silmarils were his. So he let out a great cry of, "Get out here and stop her you bloody Balrogs!"

"Why should we risk our tails to save you from the PMSing queen of unlight?! And anyway, Sauron makes a much better Dark Lord!" several new voices answered.

"You traitorssssssssssssss-" the dying Dark Lord screamed as he was devoured by Ungoliant.

"What a waste of last words," she muttered as she devoured the Silmarils.


	3. What happens to Sues who take on Eönwë

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For the "It was a dark and stormy night" challenge. Read if you are brave enough to handle the badfic-ness of it!

It was a dark and stormy night. A dark figure bore down upon Aúvlùyäwën MarySue holding a sword. The beautiful elven lady, however, was not as helpless as she seemed. She grabbed her sword and swung, only to have the stranger send it flying into the Bruinen. She screamed in fury and grabbed her dagger and attempted to vanquish her attacker. It didn't work. The dagger joined the sword in the river and Aúvlùyäwën MarySue was dead.

The storm clouds cleared and the sun rose to chirping birds as Arwen thanked Eönwë for getting rid of the pest who was trying to steal her future husband.


	4. The Fall of the Noldor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For the "It was a dark and stormy night" challenge. Read if you are brave enough to handle the badfic-ness of it!

The Noldor were very angry. Melkor had murdered their king, killed the trees, and worst of all, stolen the Silmarils. They were not going to stand for this. Their leader, Fëanáro renamed Melkor, Morgoth. They were now starting to follow the evil Vala to Arda when suddenly, they all fell down.


End file.
